Dear Kiantha: Where you are is where you’re meant to be

Dear Kiantha,

We have a few weeks left in December and then on to the new year. Every January I make a list of things I am going to do differently in the new year. Last year’s list had seven items on it. I completed three of them. Do you have any suggestions on how I might complete the list I will create for 2023?

Dear Friend,

You are certainly not alone. I would imagine there are millions of people who have had that same ritual of bringing in the new year with new things, and somehow, falling off the wagon by the end of spring.

When I think about the year ending, I naturally want to assess the things that I accomplished that year, mull over the things that didn’t get done and create lists for the upcoming year, lists that will never be finished, because what we never take into consideration are all the variables like … umm … life happening.

There are so many things outside of our control that can shift our sails in the blink of an eye. Health and well-being, loss, new adventures, career changes and so much more.

The danger in creating lists to keep ourselves on track in the new year is that we also create figurative boxes that sometime cause us more harm than good. None of us needs another reason to feel defeated. When life happens and it interrupts our plans, defeat and failure is often the feeling that we are left with. I once read a saying: “Wherever your feet are is where you are supposed to be.” For me that means that what you did not accomplish in this year is the exact opposite of failure. Those weren’t the things that were meant to be accomplished.

While we can (and should) loosely plan life, we must also submit to life with all of its unexpected nuances. The handful or so of things we can control, we do. As for the rest, we do our best to remain as nimble as possible. Nimble translates to unbreakable. Unbreakable despite the unexpected experiences awaiting us in the new year.

Consider the freedom and excitement that comes with looking forward to the new year as an adventure.

An opportunity to accomplish some things and experience some things but most importantly, the gift that allows us to be gentle in our expectations of ourselves and others.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To read this column in Spanish, visit spokesman.com. To submit a question, email DearKiantha@gmail.com.